True Friend ...

[ganeshhariharan]

The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all want to have true friends, but the quality of our friends depend on us. If you want to have true friends, you should be a true friend yourself. By being a true friend, people will love to be around you and many of them will eventually become your true friends.

In addition, being a true friend is a good way to solve relationship problems. It’s difficult to change other people, but you can always change yourself. You can then solve the otherwise unsolved problems in relationships.

True friend Here I’d like to share 17 tips to become a true friend. It may take years to learn to apply them but they are essential to boost your relationships.

Here they are:

1. Befriend yourself

Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
Eleanor Roosevelt

This is an essential first step if you are to be a true friend. If you don’t even accept yourself, how can you accept others? You may have made mistakes in the past that you can’t forget. But forgive yourself for them. You perhaps don’t have the traits you want in life. But accept yourself as you are.

2. Accept others

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.
Unknown

After you befriend yourself, you will be in a good position to accept others. Other people may do you wrong or have some bad habits you don’t like. But you are not perfect yourself so there is no reason for you not to accept them.

3. Make time

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.
Barbara Bush

Sometimes we are too busy to provide time for relationships, even for important people in our life. That most likely happens because we put relationships too low in our priority list. If we regard relationships as high priority, time won’t be a problem. We will make time for relationships.

4. Be a good listener

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
Ed Cunningham

The art of listening is one of the most difficult arts to master. I experience it myself. Sometimes I talk with a friend but don’t carefully listen to what he says. Sometimes I’m introduced to a new person but don’t carefully listen to her name. A true friend doesn’t do that. A true friend is a good listener.

5. Enrich others’ life

Friendship is a treasured gift, and every time I talk with you I feel as if I’m getting richer and richer.
Unknown

A true friend provides value to others. She wants people who meets her to be enriched in their life. If you want to do that, you should live a lifestyle of value. This way you amass value in your life you can then distribute to others.

6. Understand first

Everyone looks at life through his own lens. Often we expect others to see life through the same lens as ours, but that will create a lot of problems. A true friend is someone who is willing to look through other people’s lenses first. He tries to understand why they think and act that way.

One thing I find helpful for this is learning about personality. Learning about personality helps me understand why people behave differently from me in certain situations. A good, easy-to-digest book on this subject is Personality Plus.

7. Find common ground

Finding common ground helps you connect with new friends quickly. The common ground allows you to talk to others about something they are interested in and thereby build relationships with them.

To make it easier to find common ground, you should enlarge your ground. The larger your ground, the easier it is for you to connect with others. Two simple ways to enlarge your ground is reading a lot and listening a lot.

8. Be interested

If you want to be interesting you should first be interested. Be curious. Cultivate interest about many things. If you do that, you can genuinely be enthusiastic when people talk to you about something. People will feel appreciated and love to be around you.

9. Take initiative to help

Make use of your friends by being of use to them.
Benjamin Franklin

A true friend doesn’t wait until someone asks his help. Instead, he takes the initiative to help others. This, of course, is easier said than done. To do this, you should be on the lookout for needs. Be sensitive. Often you can find others’ needs through what they implicitly say. You may also see it through their body language. When you sense a need, think about how you can help them and take the initiative to help.

10. Trust others

Confidence is the foundation of friendship. If we give it, we will receive it.
Harry E. Humpreys

If you treat others as good and trustworthy people, they will also treat you likewise. Believe in your heart that people are naturally good, even when they seem to be the opposite. People will feel how you believe in them and they will be touched by your sincerity.

11. Rebuke when you should

In giving advice, seek to help, not please, your friend.
Solon

A true friend is not afraid of saying the truth, even if it’s not convenient to the ones who hear it. A true friend cares too much about the person’s wellness that he can’t afford to let him live wrongly. Always have others’ best interest in your heart and be honest to them.

12. Know the right time to do things

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.
Gloria Naylor

A true friend knows the right time to praise, the right time to listen, and the right time to rebuke. She knows when to come and when to stay away. A true friend masters the art of timing.

13. Have integrity

There can be no friendship without confidence and no confidence without integrity.
Samuel Johnson

Integrity is the foundation of true friendship. Be sure that you do what you say. You can only build true friendship if you are true to yourself and others.

14. Commend others

Reprove your friend privately, commend him publicly.
Solon

People need appreciation. They need to know that you appreciate them. Often we are quick to criticize but slow to commend. Let’s make it the opposite. Sincerely commend them when they do something right. Even better, commend them publicly.

15. Leverage others’ potential

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
Henry Ford

A true friend wants to see the people around them live up to their maximum potential. You can do this by helping your friends recognize and develop their personal strengths.

16. See the positive side of others

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
Bernard Meltzer

A true friend knows you good enough to see your weaknesses but he still believes in your potential. To become a true friend, you should believe that your friends are good on the inside no matter how bad their outward appearance might be. It’s by this belief that you can sincerely encourage them.

17. Be present in difficult times

True friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there when it’s not.
Unknown

This is the test of true friendship. Fake friends will be with you when you are happy since they want to share your happiness. But fake friends won’t be with you in difficult times. Only true friends will choose to be with you in difficult times.

So, to be a true friend, be with your friends in their dark moments. Be with them even if you need to let go your own convenience. It may be the most difficult tip of all, but it’s the mark of true friendship.

***

[anupam]

The true friendship, was demonstrated by only the GREAT KARNA. The true friendship, is you have explain, try to stop, and scold your friend when he is doing something wrong.BUT, if he does that and gets himslef in problem you HAVE to stick with him through thick and thin, even when the world maybe against him. KARNA demonstarted this amply. He tried his level best to stop Duryodhan, but when Mahabharat was waged, HE STOOD LIKE A ROCK. Fighting his own Father, Lord Shrikrishna, who is himself Lord Surya, knowing fully well, that defeat and death is inevitable. He never veered off his track. Bheeshm Pitamah never struck Pandavas with force, bcoz his heart was with Pandavas and he fought only for namesake,and even removed Karna for the first 10 days he commanded Kaurava Army, as he knew that Pandavas even with Lord Krishna on their side won't be able to withstand the force of Karna and Gangaputra Bheeshm and would be routed. But Karna never wavered. It is said that the war between Karna and Arjuna was so terrible that all 7 Lokas were terrified, and for some time even Lord Shiva was extremely disturbed.
THAT'S WHY KARNA IS THE GREATEST. A JEWEL. A GREATEST FRIEND, A GREATEST DAANVEER, THE GREATEST MAHARATHI, THE GREATEST KING. It is said that the KHAN surname tries to derive its pride from word Karna

[ganeshhariharan]

Excellent post Anupam Ji. Thank you for this insight. OM Sairam.

[anupam]

Guruji aap true friend ki baat mat kariyae. Usko to aapne balidaan kar diyaa NAYEE ke pass. Arre Bhai Moonch hi aapke friend hai. Sir ke baal, aapka saath nahin dete, par moonch marte dam tak, 24x7, aapke saath rehtee. Khair Koi baat nahin aapne bhi socha hoga ki World ke most powerful aadmi ban jaye. After all World's most powerful persons (US Presidents) sab Munchmundae hain atleast from Jimmy Carter--Reagen--Sr Bush Mian............ Shree Shree Shree Barak Obama. Chaliye President Baniye, AB DEKIYE NAA BABA ke paas moonch hai to kam se kam sunte to hain. Lord MahaVishnu does not have to kahan sunate hain????

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Abhi yahan Internet Light kee speed se chal raha hai. Baad mein login karta hun. Yaar Guruji aapkee BB bhi naa, kya speed hai

[ganeshhariharan]

Baat sahi hai beta , lekin kya karoon , jo khoon mein hai , wo dhule nahi na jaata bitwa
vaise hum abhi adhe westerner hai puttar . aur westerner mooch nahin rakhte.

(vaise , sachchi kahani , mere moochon ki yeh hai ki , mere mooch badte nahi the sahi se , to dostone kaha
ki ek baar uda do , dubara achche se badenge , tabhi se bad rahe hain. aur vaise bhi muhe facial hair pasand nahi, aur allergy bhi hai bhai , 2 din shave nahi karta to khujli shuru ho jaati hai )

[anupam]

Moonch ke liyae Jigar chhaye Guruji Guruji aap zaroor ek din US president banege. They will sing "Chikni Soorat tu kahan tha ab talak yeh bataa" Waise Guruji iss Moonch ki Mahima bahut Nirali hai. Jab tak Baba Chikne the, Shirdi mein log unko jyada poochte nahin the. Tabhi beech mein woh Bhaag gayae, Gayab, aur jab Moonch ugee tabhee laute AUR SAI BAN GAYE. Moonch ki Mahima nyaari hai

[ganeshhariharan]